Senate Republicans are so committed to keeping this women alive that as a
last ditch tactic today they subpoenaed her because it is a federal crime to
harm someone who is called to testify before Congress. They said they didn't
think she'd be a great witness but she had to be better then Mark McGwire."
--Bill Maher
"Sammy Sosa was adamant, he said I have never used performance enhancing
drugs. But then he said, I probably had to be on acid when I came up with that
lip salute thing." --Bill Maher
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