Q: How do you know a leper is playing ice hockey?
A: There's a 'face-off' in the corner.
Q: What's the difference between a hockey game and a prize fight?
A: In a hockey game, the fights are real.
The other day, when I was watching a boxing match on TV, a hockey game broke
out!
Canadian Hockey Conversion Table
50° Fahrenheit (10° C)
• New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
• Canadians plant gardens.
40° Fahrenheit (4.4° C)
• Californians shiver uncontrollably.
• Canadians Sunbathe.
35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C)
• Italian Cars won't start
• Canadians drive with the windows down
32° Fahrenheit (0 ° C)
• Distilled water freezes
• Canadian water get thicker.
0° Fahrenheit (-17.9° C)
• New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
• Canadians have the last cookout of the season.
-40° Fahrenheit (-40° C)
• Hollywood disintegrates.
• Canadians rent some videos.
-60° Fahrenheit (-51° C)
• Mt. St. Helens freezes.
• Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.
-100° Fahrenheit (-73° C)
• Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
• Canadians pull down their ear flaps.
-173° Fahrenheit (-114° C)
• Ethyl alcohol Freezes.
• Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
-460° Fahrenheit (-273° C)
• Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
• Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"
-500° Fahrenheit (-295° C)
• Hell freezes over.
• The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup.
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