"Yesterday federal agents raided Michael
Jackson's Neverland Ranch in Santa Barbara. This isn't good. People are gonna
start saying this guy is peculiar. Apparently Michael Jackson was so upset he
contacted Rush Limbaugh's housekeeper to get some sedatives." —David
Letterman
"I guess they had 60 federal investigators
going over the Neverland Ranch property for 12 hours and didn't find anything.
But they did turn up OJ's knife." —David Letterman
"Police swarmed all over the Neverland
Ranch for 12 hours, about 60 investigators and found a lot of items that needed
explaining. Like the wedding photo with Lisa Marie Presley." —David
Letterman
"His bail was set at $3 million dollars
because he is considered a flight risk. Cause, you know, he could run off
anywhere and blend right in." —David Letterman
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