"Have you folks been following the controversy with John Kerry and his
service in Vietnam and the Swift Boat campaign? It all took place in Vietnam and
now it just won't go away. I was thinking about this — if John Kerry had just
ducked the war like everybody else he wouldn't have this trouble." —David
Letterman
"John Kerry says the 'W' in George W. Bush stands for 'Wrong.' But he
still can't explain what John Kerry stands for." —David Letterman
"John Kerry told Tom Ridge he was too busy to receive a Homeland
Security briefing. I thought that was odd, since you're not supposed to ignore
terrorist threats until after you become president." —David Letterman
"John Kerry speaks French, but he tries to avoid it. So, if a reporter
asks him questions in French he'll pretend like he doesn't understand. Bush, on
the other hand, has the same problem with English." —David Letterman
"John Kerry said that a lot of world
leaders want him to be the president and the Bush administration said, 'Yeah,
well, like who?' and John Kerry said, 'Well, I can't say really.' So, now
they're really hammering John Kerry and listen to this, the only name he could
come up with? Queen Latifah." —David Letterman
"John Kerry says the 'W' in George W. Bush
stands for 'Wrong.' But he still can't explain what John Kerry stands for."
—David Letterman
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