"Time was, our leaders were all veterans of World War II, the Korean
conflict or even the struggle for civil rights. But now, with the election of
Jesse Ventura in Minnesota and Arnold Schwarzenegger in California, it is clear
that the next generation of political leaders will all come from the movie
'Predator.'" —Stephen Colbert, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
"Bush joked last week during his meeting with Schwarzenegger that they
are both sometimes accused of misspeaking the language. Mr. President, he's from
a foreign country." —Jon Stewart
"Arnold Schwarzenegger was sworn in as governor yesterday in the
mystical land of the west known as Kali-forn-ia. Celebrities attended the event,
including national anthem singer Vanessa Williams. But the moment everyone was
waiting for was the swearing in. The Bible used for the swearing in ceremony was
200 years old and belonged to his in-laws, the Kennedys. That may explain why
the Leviticus chapter is interspersed with the phone numbers of Rockettes."
—Jon Stewart
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